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To
begin, here is an absolutely splendid item from my collection--a late
19th century book, The Martian. It is a 477-page posthumously published
novel about the spirit of a Martian that inhabits the body of a woman!
It is profusely and spectacularly illustrated by the author, George Du
Maurier, with about 50 full-page pictures. This is a 1897 first true
U.S. edition, which came out two months before its British cousin.
It was published by Harper & Brothers, if that's important for you
to know. The pages measure 5 1/8 x 7 1/2 inches according to my ruler,
and the volume possesses lovely red cloth boards with all kinds of ornately
stamped gilt ornamentation. Now, to be honest, this is not a mint copy.
There is light wear to the top spine end, and the bottom spine end shows
some fraying owing to my dog's having got hold of it, but only in an area
of about 1/4 inch square at the most. I would describe the corners
as very gently rounded. There is some light scuffing to the front, and
a small amount of scuffing on the back bottom. The spine is ever so slightly
darkened. All things considered, this is a very nice volume for your collection--good
+ at least, maybe even very good. I offer this spiffulous tome for a most
reasonable
$783.00 (Sold) |
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Recorded
live at the Ritz in the Big Apple in December 1981, here you have the
Misfits' "I Turned Into a Martian" which was released on the "Sonically
Stealing" label in a deluxe laminated, professionally designed
and printed sleeve, not some scrubbly photocopied dreck! I guarantee
that both the sleeve and the LP are absolutely near-mint. I have
played this album no more than three times for research purposes. Now,
you may have to run out to your local Goodwill or Salvation Army second-hand
store to purchase a stereo record player upon which to play this magnificent
and culturally important work, but I'm sure you'll not regret it. This
recording can be yours for only
665.99! (Sold) |
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For
sale are two (2) cuttings at least 6" to 8" in length from my prize-winning
epiphyllum orchid, "Martian Dancer," which was registered in 1999. It
displays a remarkable shade of glittering plum (I guess) on the inner
petals and a darker, lusher shade of plum on the outer. My image here
using web-safe colors does it no justice! Mrs. U. and I have been
lavishing a great deal of attention on this gorgeous orchid in her greenhouse--too
much attention, according to my psychiatrist--and now as part of the court
settlement, even my Martian Dancer orchids have to go! Does that make
any sense to you? No, it doesn't! But I'm in no position at the present
moment to disregard a court order, so you can grab two (2) cuttings of
this hard to obtain beauty for a mere
$1,299.00 |
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I
am told by Stewart, the pimply gawk with a pierced lip but without a life beyond
the counter at Centerboro's only comic book store, that this is a scarce
Archie Series, Radio Comics, October 1959, number 6 (the last) issue of "Cosmo
The Merry Martian," an early silver age comic, whatever that means. Stewart attests
that this particular comic is in very good to very good plus condition
and describes it as a "nice, tight, solid, readable comic." Though it's pretty
old, the staples are not rusty and there are no bad tears or creases anywhere.
The top of the cover is a bit age spotted as you can see, but the paper
is still soft, not brittle and crumbly. It does not smell bad at all, though this
admittedly may be a matter of opinion. Although this comic makes light of a Martian
invasion of Earth, the imminent invasion is not to be taken lightly, and I suggest
that you have a "nearest shelter" to run to when it occurs. This comic would make
good reading by flashlight in your shelter as you nervously await your certain
personal extinction, and I offer it for only
$324.99 (Sold) |
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Quite
self-explanatory, isn't it? One day long ago during the Martian visitation to
Centerboro in 1955, I had Herb and his family over for a picnic to meet some of
the little critters. One of Herb's boys brought this gem along to play with. As
you can imagine, anything Martian was all the rage back then. Well, the Martians
didn't show up, and Herb's little bugger left his saucer behind the furnace.
I didn't find it until a couple of years later, by which time I'm sure he would
have outgrown his interest in such toys. This baby still sparks quite nicely,
especially down in the basement with all the lights off, and it comes complete
with its original, mostly unsullied box which was kept dry and mildew- and mold-free
by virtue of being left where it had been. This, of course, raises the value
of the toy astronomically. If you don't believe me, watch Antiques Roadshow
sometime. Original boxes always raise the value--and that's why my asking
price is quite fair, though it may seem a bit high to the uninformed non-collector
of such space items.
$800.00 (Sold) |
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I
found this item in my pants pocket after my most recent abduction by the
Martians. I have had it analyzed by a reputable scientific testing laboratory
and can report with a high degree of confidence the following details
about it. It weighs nearly 536 mg and contains crystals of orthopyroxene,
a major component of the world's most famous meteorite, ALH 8400!
Ankertitic and other carbonates have been identified in this item and
are pre-terrestrial in origin. In the opinion of the laboratory,
these carbonates were deposited in this meteorite when underground
water flowed through it beneath the surface of Mars! Another feature
of this amazing specimen is the existence of simplectites, structures
that will tell us more about the geology of Mars. These simplectites were
believed to be formed when a secondary post crystallization event occurred
on Mars involving super heated water that chemically altered parts of
this rock. If these data were not enough, this meteorite contains minerals
believed to be created by extraterrestrial weathering. Can you
own this scientifically important piece of Mars? You bet you can! Because
of its one-of-a-kind nature, its scientific significance, and my need
to pay off a large credit card bill, it's yours for
$10,000 (Sold) |
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Holy
mackerel! Here's an MPC Martian Patrol Flying Model Rocket Kit still in its original
shrink wrap! It takes 18 millimeter rocket motors which you still might
be able to purchase in any hobby shop without fear of becoming a suspected terrorist.
It features molded plastic parts and a fiber body tube. This keen old model
rocket was made in the 1970s and has been out of production for a long time.
I purchased several back then with the idea of confusing the radar signals of
a Martian landing party to divert them to nearby Herkimer or Oneida County. What's
really nifty about this particular model is that two "UFOs" detach at apogee (look
it up!) and fly down separately! The box is in great shape (...and what does that
do to the value of this item, hmmmm?), but the shrink wrap is torn in a
couple of places. I do not think those little tears affect the value of this rocket
kit one iota, and I'm willing to part with this marvelous thingy for
$125.00 (Sold) |
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I
have had this Martian Symphony Orchestra 78 r.p.m. recording since it
was released in 1957 on the Luniverse label. This incredibly rare record,
which can be played at 16-2/3, 33-1/3, 45, or 78 r.p.m. and still retain
its musical integrity, is in very good condition, although you can
clearly see some spindle wear. I would not hesitate to venture that the
genius Frank Zappa may have been inspired by this very record! Who were
the members of the Martian Symphony Orchestra? I do not know to this day,
having been unable to find any reliable answer through painstaking research.
I part with this Dada-esque oddity only under extreme duress for
$500.00 (Sold) |
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Strictly
for fun (i.e., not for serious research purposes), why not snap up this
"All-Martian Issue" of the Monster Times before an eager collector or reseller
does? The condition, though not mint, is excellent. There is, however, only
the most slight "old newspaper" odor about it. This particular issue consists
of thirty-one well-preserved pages and contains a very nice 17 " x 23" color
poster. I will not disclose the subject matter of the poster, but
I know you will not be disappointed! I suspect that this publication and many
other publications and films such as The Angry Red Planet are manifestations
of the Martians' plot to blind us to their real presence and threat by making
the very notion of an intelligent Martian race seem like the product of "creative
imagination." We'll find out soon enough if I'm right! You'd better hurry
up, because this special issue will soon be gone at
$179.99 (Sold)
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Wow!
WOW!!! Once again I have saved the best for last! Aren't you glad you didn't leave
after the Misfits item? Can you not just see this splendid painting by Arturo
Ramierez, a sub-prominent Mexican artist hanging in your living room? or
your study? or your bathroom? This 9" X 11" masterpiece of folk art is handpainted
on tin to look old. In the picture, a peasant gives thanks to the Lady of the
Lakes for saving him from a Martian. I obtained this great piece on a trip
to Mexico with Mrs. U., but since I am not a Roman Catholic, I have some difficulty
relating to the substance of this picture, spiffy as it is, in any real, meaningful
way. Also, it doesn't really fit in with the rest of my decor. Please do not be
dissuaded from buying this unusual painting by the completely inaccurate representation
of a Martian. How much, you ask? Well, it must command a price commensurate with
its beauty and novelty, so I offer it to you for only
$949.99 (Sold) |
