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FAQ #12

Question: Do you carve a pumpkin every Halloween? If so, can you include a picture of it?
Answer: There's an apostrophe in "Hallowe'en," did you know that? Of course I carve a pumpkin every year. It's a traditional, not fancy, design--I don't use one of those fancy pumpkin carving kits with templates and tools that are popping up all over the place. Don't they seem to detract from originality and creativity to you? I mean why not just use a paring knife and a spoon like we always used to? What's wrong with that? The next thing you know is that some genius will start selling pre-carved pumpkins so no one will have to get messy at all. Or maybe someone will create a virtual jack-o'-lantern that you can park on your monitor and stare at. (End of minor rant.) I usually park my jack-o'-lantern up in the big silver maple on my front lawn where the grubby little Centerboro ruffians can't get their grimy hands on it.

The 1998 Pumpkin

The Final Resting Place of All My Pumpkins: The Compost Heap
R.I.P. November 4, 1998

Last Year's Pumpkin

That's all for pumpkins. If I am still around next year and this Website is still a going concern, I will publish the "1999 Pumpkin."

Question: We know you don't want to give a photo tour of your house because of privacy considerations, but how about a picture of your kitchen, at least.
Answer: I suppose that would be all right. It is one of the most important rooms in my house. You will notice that I have removed all the doors from my cabinets to make it easy to find and access stuff. I think this is one of the most sensible home modifications I have come up with to date. You ought to try it. You'll be amazed at how quickly you can find things and how much energy you'll save that you would otherwise spend uselessly opening and closing doors. That's my Chloe sitting there. I know this picture is a wee bit overexposed, but that's the best I can do.

 

Question: Do you think you could post a picture of one of your T-shirts?
Answer: EHA Industries T-shirts are completely sold out for this year, so it would be pointless to publish the old design. However, here is the preliminary design for the new millennium. The front of the shirt is pictured on the left. Please do not send an order in! The design hasn't even been officially approved by the Board of Managers, and we're a long, long way from production. The design team is working on a brand-new logo as I write this. This is another poor quality image, I know, so don't bother commenting.
 

Short Answers to Infrequently Asked Questions

• I would have to say that I am glad that I was never "blessed" with children. Although I don't actually dislike them intensely, I am not particular fond of the little beggars.
• As a matter of fact, Mrs. U. and I do have names for the paths we hike in the Big Woods. They are (in no particular order): Main Street, South Main, Deer Run, Fawn, Owl, Red Squirrel, Cocoon, May Apple, Grimby, Through the Woods, Walk Up, and Ignormus. We named the paths after things we've seen or done up there or, like the Ignormus, only heard about.
• The winters here in Centerboro can be brutal, but it never snows so much that you can actually tunnel your way to the street through the snow banks.
• No, still no Studebaker.
• I haven't been able to put a face or a name to "ET" yet. I doubt it means "extraterrestrial."
• I think my next computer is going to be an off-the-shelf Dell, but this is not a commercial endorsement. If I were more technically adept, I would build my own from parts.
• A really nice vacation spot for you if you are anywhere near Ontario, Canada, is the northeastern part of the Bruce Peninsula. Mrs. U. and I did not see a single rattlesnake or bear the whole time we were there one summer.
• I'm quite sure there was no spaceship. It was just a silo that William and Martha let Uncle Ben play in.
• Yes, I've seen a picture of the Freddy float pen. You know...the barn in it looks almost exactly like the real Bean farm main barn--before it burned down, of course.
• I have been bitten several times by Martians, and I am still alive, so I doubt whether they are lethally poisonous. The bites were quite painful, and the itching lasted for quite a while, but that's about it.
• I tried to join the CHS Marching Band in 1936, but the director told me he didn't have any need for an accordionist.
• Chloe is pronounced "klo-ee."
• No, you wouldn't ever have seen me feeding the bears at Indian Lake in the Adirondacks.
• I like Messier 8 (the Lagoon Nebula).
• No, the things on the bookshelves are not for sale. Especially the Andy Panda bank!
• There was a Henry Snedeker, a Constable of Centerboro, way back in the '20s and '30s. Effie Snedeker of Orenville, Ohio, was one of William Bean's aunts. Other of his relatives were his uncles Benjamin, Rudolph, and Harrison, and his aunt Alexandra. I don't remember if there were any more. Effie married one of Henry Snedeker's brothers and moved to Ohio. That business about William's grandmother's teapot was certainly true. Brooks got the idea for the teapot storyline from talking to the Beans.
• OK, try four eggs in the pancake recipe. Feel free to experiment.
• There's no dinner theater in Centerboro. There is a community theater group that puts on summer productions that remind me of the type of show the Little Rascals might have put on, but if you want anything remotely like real theater, you have to go to Albany.
• If you're coming to Centerboro for a visit, I'd recommend the Sleepy Hollow Motel. It doesn't have bugs or smell mildewy like the Shady Rest.
• I don't know of any Walter Brooks character based on Petey. Jimmy Wiggs's older brother may have been based on the yobbo Richard Albacore. You can find out more about him on the Tales Out of School page.